You find yourself lost in this dark and scary place. This place is your life. You don't know who to turn to,
because you feel stupid, weak, lonely, ugly, and extremely terrified. No one will understand why you would
stay with someone who treats you like your a pile of poop. You are better than that. Why do you stay?? Is the
million dollar question.
Then you find yourself, explaining the answer.
He loves me. He doesn't mean to do what he does. He was in a bad mood that day. He told me he was sorry,
and maybe even that day, I got some beautiful flowers and a nice phone call or text. I love him. He will stop
one day.
The lies keep coming, and the words that you are not worthy, are heard over and over. The put downs, the
jokes that are not funny to you. Actually they hurt your feelings. You hear this voice in your head telling
you, that your feelings do not matter. You should just deal with it. Get over it. It's just a joke.
I didn't mean what I said, or you just are too serious. Laugh a little. You can't take a joke. These words are
repeated over and over. You start to believe them or maybe it just becomes your normal.
Maybe you experience financial abuse. He controls all the money and even fills your car, so he knows exactly
how much you have and checks your mileage too, to monitor you.
There are the times when you find yourself, with no friends, because he wont let you see them. Some how it
has even gotten to the point, you can't even make a phone call, without his permission or contolling the phone.
The controlling is all around you. You can't breathe and you feel like you are dieing inside, a little everday.
Then of course, there is the definition of domestic violence, the physical abuse. This is the main definition of DV.
(which it is not - it is just easier to prove then the other types). Maybe he just pushes you, grabs your arm tight.
Peole don't see the bruising from the outside. It's not the punch in the eye, black eye. It's hidden, so
the world can't see. And you dare not tell anyone, because he knows how to lie about it and people believe it.
Or even worse, people turn the other way and shut their ears and eyes.
Now this is the toughest... you have children. You try and hide the behavior from them. But, the kids see it and either
start acting the same way, out of their own anger towards the circumstances or because they see it to be a normal
behavior. They lie, they yell, say terrible things, to each other and also to the mother. They act out in school, in
their community or their jobs. Their behavior is being repeated, mimicked. You thought you were doing your best
covering it up, sending them to their rooms, so they wouldn't hear and see anything. But, they did.
The truth.... I love to laugh, just not when the joke is made about me, my kids, or anyone, in a put down, cruel way.
I want to feel beautiful. God made me perfect. He doesn't make any mistakes. I want to trust, but how do
I do that, when all I hear are lies. You want to have freedom again. Not be scared anymore.
It has to STOP. How do you get off this ride, you are on. A circle that has no end. It's sweet love, then
fighting, maybe then physical fighting, he apologizes... I wont do that again, or even worse .... not even
admitting the wrong that was done. Instead, blaming you for his acting out, anger or just because you made
him do it. Then it all better again. You believe he will stop, he tells you how sorry he is.
What is the truth? Do YOU want off the ride NOW?
When does it stop. When do you face your fear and trust that you are worthy
and a loving person. Your children need a safe place. Today, now.... draw the line in the sand and STOP the cycle.
Domestic Violence is a circle, a ride you don't want to be on. If anything like this sounds familiar, please reach out
1-800-799-7233 (safe) National Domestic Violence Hotline. Talk to someone. Be safe when you call. Call from a
friends phone or at work, where he can't monitor your call. Reach out!
-Domestic Violence UnMasked, Inc.
Always Praying for your safety! Trust God!
because you feel stupid, weak, lonely, ugly, and extremely terrified. No one will understand why you would
stay with someone who treats you like your a pile of poop. You are better than that. Why do you stay?? Is the
million dollar question.
Then you find yourself, explaining the answer.
He loves me. He doesn't mean to do what he does. He was in a bad mood that day. He told me he was sorry,
and maybe even that day, I got some beautiful flowers and a nice phone call or text. I love him. He will stop
one day.
The lies keep coming, and the words that you are not worthy, are heard over and over. The put downs, the
jokes that are not funny to you. Actually they hurt your feelings. You hear this voice in your head telling
you, that your feelings do not matter. You should just deal with it. Get over it. It's just a joke.
I didn't mean what I said, or you just are too serious. Laugh a little. You can't take a joke. These words are
repeated over and over. You start to believe them or maybe it just becomes your normal.
Maybe you experience financial abuse. He controls all the money and even fills your car, so he knows exactly
how much you have and checks your mileage too, to monitor you.
There are the times when you find yourself, with no friends, because he wont let you see them. Some how it
has even gotten to the point, you can't even make a phone call, without his permission or contolling the phone.
The controlling is all around you. You can't breathe and you feel like you are dieing inside, a little everday.
Then of course, there is the definition of domestic violence, the physical abuse. This is the main definition of DV.
(which it is not - it is just easier to prove then the other types). Maybe he just pushes you, grabs your arm tight.
Peole don't see the bruising from the outside. It's not the punch in the eye, black eye. It's hidden, so
the world can't see. And you dare not tell anyone, because he knows how to lie about it and people believe it.
Or even worse, people turn the other way and shut their ears and eyes.
Now this is the toughest... you have children. You try and hide the behavior from them. But, the kids see it and either
start acting the same way, out of their own anger towards the circumstances or because they see it to be a normal
behavior. They lie, they yell, say terrible things, to each other and also to the mother. They act out in school, in
their community or their jobs. Their behavior is being repeated, mimicked. You thought you were doing your best
covering it up, sending them to their rooms, so they wouldn't hear and see anything. But, they did.
The truth.... I love to laugh, just not when the joke is made about me, my kids, or anyone, in a put down, cruel way.
I want to feel beautiful. God made me perfect. He doesn't make any mistakes. I want to trust, but how do
I do that, when all I hear are lies. You want to have freedom again. Not be scared anymore.
It has to STOP. How do you get off this ride, you are on. A circle that has no end. It's sweet love, then
fighting, maybe then physical fighting, he apologizes... I wont do that again, or even worse .... not even
admitting the wrong that was done. Instead, blaming you for his acting out, anger or just because you made
him do it. Then it all better again. You believe he will stop, he tells you how sorry he is.
What is the truth? Do YOU want off the ride NOW?
When does it stop. When do you face your fear and trust that you are worthy
and a loving person. Your children need a safe place. Today, now.... draw the line in the sand and STOP the cycle.
Domestic Violence is a circle, a ride you don't want to be on. If anything like this sounds familiar, please reach out
1-800-799-7233 (safe) National Domestic Violence Hotline. Talk to someone. Be safe when you call. Call from a
friends phone or at work, where he can't monitor your call. Reach out!
-Domestic Violence UnMasked, Inc.
Always Praying for your safety! Trust God!
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